insomnia.

Ah, insomnia. I’ll just use this time to blog, since I’ve got nothing else to do.

I did it. I walked the street up and down six times. By the fifth time, I was weak in the knees and I felt like I was going to vomit (unintentionally) but when I bent down with my hands on my knees and closed my eyes all I could see was those red numbers on the scale reading: 129. Reaching the 120s is my goal this week and that visualization gave me just the boost I needed to finish. I got home and got in a freezing shower while chugging a bottle of water that I had put in the freezer when I went to walk. Maybe it’s the exhaustion from more strenuous activity than I’ve had in a long long long time, but I already feel a little lighter. The walk made me extremely hungry so I ate a few mini pickles and a stale cracker. I don’t know how many calories it was exactly but I know it was less than 50.

I really like the feeling of hunger. Even though I haven’t gotten back into LEGIT fasting, I have been taking in generally around/under 300 calories the past few days which I AM NOT used to after my month or so of fucking up and its left me really hungry. The feeling of hunger is addictive; a feeling I forgot about completely. It takes three days to form a habit and tomorrow (well, technically later today) will be day three of this soup/few carbs and walk-workout habit. I hope I stick to it.

I think I have shin splints. Whatever, the pain will be worth it when I’m thin.

I’m so tired but I can’t sleep. I’ve been trying to type this post for over an hour. Fuck. I’m so sad and tired and I don’t know what to do. I better be down tomorrow.

Stay strong, ladies. ThinkLiveLove Ana. xoxoxo