Sunday, October 16, 2011

day one

got out of breakfast and dinner. couldn't bail on lunch, i was with my grandma and she made me eat. buuuuuut i only ate one meal and i didn't finish it all, so that's a start.

i'm going to try to liquid fast tomorrow.
hopefully i'll be able to pull it off.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

fuck recovery.
fuck it.
i'm done.

my new boyfriend, who we'll call kyle, is fine with me having a love affair with ana, so that's not an issue anymore. my best friend who would be pissed if she knew moved an hour away so she'll never know. i have no excuses anymore. its time to get serious like first semester junior year. i'm not going to lay out any plans this time. i'm just going to say no to food when i can, work my ass off and as soon as i get my id, start buying diet pills because my stash is still at my mom's.

water, cigarettes, & coffee.
treadmills, elipitcal machines, & situps.
dizzy spells, hunger pains, & weight loss.
i'm ready.

i'm committing myself this time. no more excuses to be a pussy about it.
fuck being fat, fuck hating myself, fuck all that noise.
i'm getting down to the 90's.
nothing will stop me.