Saturday, March 5, 2011

mardi gras mambo

its mardi gras which for most people means food, fun, and parades. for me, however, it means drugs, hunger, and nights i can't remember with people i can't forget. last night was the first parade of mardi gras weekend '11. i went to a party at kylie's house where there was so much food i thought i was going to die. but the night was successful. i didnt eat a single bite; i drank a little which i know is empty calories but i also smoked which increases metabolism, so i should be good. i can't weigh myself til i get back to my mom's which will be sometime today. i neeeeed to know what the number is.

right now, i'm sipping coffee and i have every meal for today planned out. tomorrow i'll eat only fruit, then monday and tuesday are fasting days. and when i go back to school on wednesday, i'll eat only fruit again. got my plan. got ambition. im ready to rock this bitch.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

im baaaaack.

been in the hospital for sixteen days.
officially diagnosed with anorexia and bulimia.
gained ten pounds.

time to get back in gear. that hospital food fucked me up, big time. so its time for a change.
ready, set, here we go.