Thursday, January 20, 2011

i woke up at 122 pounds this morning. i did a happy dance in my bathroom.
and then i ruined it.

i came home from school and binged my ass off. three bags of chips, a snickers, a bowl of soup, two swiss cheese sandwiches, half a bowl of cereal, and a pepsi. of course, my initial reaction was to purge.
oppps. that didn't work.
i was on my knees in front of the toilet with my fingers in my throat for about half an hour. the pepsi came back up & a little bit of the cereal, and that's it. i freaked the fuck out and called my very best ana friend, nikki (http://letters-from-ana.blogspot.com/). she helped calm me down and made me feel positive about our fast tomorrow. i still can't believe i binged after only a few days. fuuuuck. bad start. bad bad bad start.

but, tomorrow's a new day. i'm not eating anything tomorrow. in fact, i might just do a water fast for the next two days. lord knows i'm going to need it when i wake up in the morning and look at the numbers on the scale.

sigh. i'm scared to see what the scale says tomorrow. i hope you guys are doing better than i am. think thin, stay strong. love you guys<3

2 comments:

  1. good luck on your fast tomorrow! im sure youll do fantastic! <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. Good Luck just stay focused and know what you want and then you can achieve anything in life =)

    I used to have a blog awhile ago but now I am on a journey to recovery, to better eating habits so I have created a new blog!! I chose to follow people who have distorted eating as I feel they understand what I am going through a lot better and wont judge me if I have an out of control day =) I would be great if we could support each other =)

    “Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”

    ♥ Bree

    ReplyDelete