119

well... IM OUT OF THE 120s!!!!!
as of 3:17 this morning, i am officially 119 lbs. even with water weight. (:

i'm ecstatic right now. i'm sitting on cloud nine, swinging my feet and singing a jolly tune. nothing can bring me down today. and nothing can make me eat today.

ugh

so, the whole get-down-to-119 plan was ruined by stupid period bloating. and i have a general rule that when i'm raggin', i don't get on the scale. and i tell myself that if i work hard enough, i won't have to deal with periods anymore. so i'm fasting til i'm off the rag. no food. no soup. no smoothies. just water, diet coke, tea, coffee, juice, etc.

i have a cat scan today, so i'm not allowed to eat or drink anything but water anyway so i'm using that as an excuse to water fast today. hopefully this week's fast will impact my loss when i'm done raggin'.

QUESTION.
when i'm on the rag, working out just doesn't seem like something i want to be a part of. what do you guys (ladies, i mean) do for exercise during that dreaded TOM?

think thin, stay strong xoxo

home from school today

and i'm using it to my advantage. i'm going to spend the day upping the ante; watching dvr'd thinspirational shows/specials, looking at thinspo online, working out, reading Wasted, and freezing. i was 120 yesterday, and i'm 121 today. i'm determined to get to 119 by tomorrow. and i'm not eating again until i'm 115. i've got my plan in motion and i can do this.

so far, i've had a hot chocolate ( 210 calories) and i'm currently sipping a homemade caramel frap (>110 calories) and then its water for the rest of the day. i wanted to use laxies today to help lose a couple pounds, but i can't find my stash. so i might do a saltwater flush, but it depends on if my grandma ends up coming over to "keep me company" while i'm sick. so i guess we'll see.

in other news: my size 5 jeans are officially too big! they practically fall off of me. :D
i can't wait to get to a double zero. i'll feel so accomplished.

well, i'm off to lose these damn two pounds. stay strong, lovelies. <3

back down:)

back down to 122 and i'm not screwing it up this time. i've had a banana today & i'm about to eat some oatmeal, and that's it. restricting HARD today and tomorrow, and fasting all next week. i will be out of the 120's before Winter Formal (Feb. 12).

in the past 48 hours, i've been asked twice about my weight. its the greatest feeling ever when someone says "omg how'd you lose so much weight?" or "you're getting so tiny, pixie." considering i'm not even that small yet. i keep telling myself to think about the comments i'll get when i'm 110, 105, and then 98. god, i can't wait.

so, how is everyone doing? are you guys reaching your goals and thinking thin/living ana?

i gave up on fasting this week; i'm just restricting. i'll fast all next week. too many things keep coming up to successfully fast this week, fuck.

BUT. i've gotten so many comments about looking skinnier this week. SO many. my mom, my grandma, my psychiatrist, people from school. its so thinspirational. i can't wait til im in the double digits!

so how are you all doing? i want to make more ana friends, don't be shy. i don't bite:)

munchies got me again

but i'm down two pounds, so no complaints yet. i'm taking a break from pot. just until i get under 110 pounds. then i'll go back to toking regularly. i'm not supposed to be smoking anyway, for mike, and i feel awful every time i do it anyway. i love that boy so much, and going behind his back when i'm supposed to be supporting him breaks my heart. so no more pot for me til i'm under 110 at least.

i won't be able to fast friday because mike is taking me to dinner for our anniversary, so i'll just have to work out extra hard for tomorrow, wednesday, and thursday. it sucks but ya gotta do what you gotta do, i suppose.

yesterday i woke up at 121 pounds, and decided to celebrate with a toke. i smoked a gram and a half of some really good shit, got the munchies, and ate my ass off (or really gained it back). woke up this morning at 124.

so, liquid fast this week with water fasting on days with the letter u in them. i know its weird, but it seems safe to me and i do it all the time, lol. so yeah. and i'm going to start bracing the cold and running every morning/night again, along with punching my punching bag. getting serious. if the cost of being thin is no more pot smoking, so be it. i'm supposed to be sober for mike anyway. whatever it takes to have my bones stick out, my thighs not touch, and my goal reached. i am going to do this. i will get thin or die trying.